I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
two words...techno handjob
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
