so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
