Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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