found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
