Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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