I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
