If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
