I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize