Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
