we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
