I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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