Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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