My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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