Got a toothbrush?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
