How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm at about main and main street
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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