A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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