My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
