Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
