She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so let's talk penis.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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