You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
