The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize