every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
