She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
