MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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