His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
