I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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