She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
