Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
