Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh god it's open bar.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
