This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet he comes in French.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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