Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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