hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
