I heard we made out
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
