Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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