Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
