Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
