sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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