as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
