You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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