Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize