Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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