That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
