She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
