We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
