jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Text me some of your sweat
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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