If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
