My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
