no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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