You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
