i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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