worst night to have a conscience
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
