Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Soap is not a condiment
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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