I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
