yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
