We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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