oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
