I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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