Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
