i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
