We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
